By The Powers Invested in Me...

There have been times where I've used my inner strengths to my advantage without even realizing I was doing so. Then there have been other times that I let my weaknesses overpower my inner strengths. Regardless of which time it was, I had come to realize a new power that I possessed and that I would keep with me for the rest of my life...

The Good

The company I work for is growing bigger and bigger every day. I began working for them in May of this year (2014). I was offered the job as the front desk receptionist, even though I had no experience in any type of office position. Within two months, the owner of the company asked to set up a meeting with me. I was a bit nervous as I did not know what to expect from this meeting. Turns out, she offered me a 5 dollar raise and a position with much more responsibility. Of course I could not turn down this opportunity. I accepted in a heartbeat. She expressed how well-liked I was, and how much they trusted me. I was a bit shocked, because I never tried too hard. I suppose it was my confidence and honesty, which are two things I hadn't noticed about myself before. But after receiving this promotion in a short amount of time, with no experience, I came to see that these two qualities about me are strengths that will take me far in life.

The Bad

Although having the confidence I did gave me a chance to be successful, I haven't always been that way. There was a time when I let my self-doubt get the best of me. When I look back on it, it was a mix of my self-doubt and fear. I was 15 years old, and I had just gotten into my first long-term relationship. Of course I didn't know at the time how long it would last, but I met someone who I thought understood me, and who I thought that I understood as well. He was the first to say, "I love you," and that was the first time a non- family member said something like that to me. I was flattered of course, but I didn't feel the same way. I was young and immature, and didn't want to lose his friendship, so I told him that I loved him back. We had good times, and shared many laughs and "first-times" for about a year into the relationship. Then, things began to turn sour. I don't remember exactly when things went wrong, all I know is that they did. I used to get this gut-feeling that things were not right, but I always ignored it, telling myself that I didn't know anything. I suppose that self-doubt was triggered by the words he used over and over to belittle me. I began to believe it myself. I felt useless. I felt ugly, both inside and out. He began to threaten and hurt me physically, and I would tell myself that I deserved it. That's why I stuck around. Now, I will always remember to trust my gut-instinct. I will never ignore that feeling again since it has yet to be wrong.

The Now

I had heard of positive affirmations before taking this course, and have always thought that if I believed them, they would eventually become true. I guess that is how I got my confidence back after being in a horrible teenaged relationship. My mother calls it "the secret." She says that if you put positive vibes into the universe, that the universe will send positive vibes back to you. Same thing goes for negative vibes. I think that writing, as I've mentioned, is a very useful activity that i use without noticing to strengthen my inner powers. And finally, I've found that meditation helps me to relieve a lot of stress. Once my mind is free of stress and worries, my inner strengths are no longer blocked and will naturally show themselves to all around me. 

This Week's Poem:

When I Was A Limitless Child

When I was a limitless child,

My imagination ran wild

I would dream of fields of unicorns

With the sun shining off their rainbow colored horns

I imagined that fairytales were true

That they were a way of life

And that every man was prince who knew how to woo

I believed that warlocks really existed

Some that were evil, and some that were kind

That witches weren’t all wicked, there were nice ones you could find

I believed that much love really lived in these ancient times

To me, a kiss could really wake the dead

And a cheshire cat could really stand on it’s head

I fantasized about a mermaid who learned how to walk

And about a wooden doll who learned how to talk

I pictured in my head, the boy who never grew old

And I believed these things, no matter what I was told

I wondered about a beast that turned into a prince

If these things were all once upon a time, what’s happened to them since?

What happened to the girl who lived with seven men,

Today she’d be called a slut, over and over again

What happened to Aladdin and his magic rug?

After 9/11, he’s treated like a poisonous bug

What happened to the boy who used pixie dust to fly?

Now a days they use it, but only to get high

If a time machine existed, and there was anywhere to go,

I’d travel to the time I was young, when fairytales were real, oh so long ago…