My Own Personal Legend

Since I'm in school to become a nurse, it may seem obvious that I enjoy helping people. I possess the natural ability, almost like an instinct, to come to the aid of anyone who is in need. It can be physical help, mental help, or even to help my little brother with his homework. Helping people is a part of my personality. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't change it. And I wouldn't want to change it. But helping people, in my opinion, goes far beyond my character. It is something I was raised to do. It's not only for the person(s) I'm helping, it benefits me as well.

Remember Me As..

When I leave this world to begin my eternal life, I wanted to be remembered as a good person. I want those who knew me to be filled with happiness and joy when they think of me after my death. I want them to say, "She lived a good life, she had a beautiful heart." We are all human, and at times we all have our moments of break downs, bad days, and sometimes bad weeks. But in the long run, we look for the moments of bliss that we shared with a person who is no longer around. Although the bad memories can creep in (and I'm sure they will), I want to leave people with more cheerful moments than crummy ones. When my soul passes onto the next world, I want the people who knew me to keep my memory alive. I want them to help someone else in a way that I helped them. I want them to pass along the acts of kindness. I hope that people remember how it made them feel to have someone there to help them with whatever it was they needed help with. And I hope that they feel even more blessed and rewarded to pass that feeling forward by helping someone else. It's kindness, it's love, it's what makes the world go round.

My Life's Mission

Some people may want to go down in history, others may go through life with a mission to make as much money as possible. But those people loss sight of the big picture behind it all. Anyone who has made history did not do so with the intention to. They did so because something they did (a life mission) was either honorable or horrible. Those who work their life away only because they want to be rich and bathe in bath tubs full of money end up being the ones who are the most unhappy. As the saying goes, money doesn't buy happiness. Those people should be focusing more on being rich with quality rather than quantity. My life mission is a bit different from the other two. I want to be able to make a difference. It doesn't have to be to a whole bunch of people, but if I can make a difference in just one persons life, then my life mission will be complete. It brings me happiness to make other people happy. My dream of Mark's House is just one ambition to complete my life's mission. But as I'm writing, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about how I have already made a difference in at least one person's life. But it won't stop there. It's going to be a never ending journey, for as long as I live. And hopefully my life's mission will live on, in someone else's life, after I pass on. 

My Success Story

My soul would be satisfied if I not only helping others made a difference to them, but if it made a difference around the entire world. I'm talking about World Peace. If everyone just helped one another, rather than fighting over land, money, politics, etc., this Earth would be a much better place. It starts with one person, who has the courage to pass along the act of kindness. Then it's up to the other, and the many more after that, to keep it going. Think of people like Mother Theresa, and Gandhi. They were against violence, they were for peace. They made a difference in so many lives. Their helpfulness and kindness did not go unnoticed, and it did get passed along. The only problem was that it stopped being passed along. My soul would be satisfied if every other soul on planet Earth could look passed all of the material things, all of the drama that society has created, and to think of the bigger picture behind it all. Then once they see that bigger picture, I wish that they could act upon it. I wish that people realized how important it is to be of help to another person. And maybe once that is accomplished, the human race will understand and see Peace before their eyes. 

This Week's Poem: Epitaph

Here lies a woman
Who was kind to all
She was called Molly
But for short, she liked 'Moll'
A life full of love
Has been passed on
To the next life above
An angel watching over
Still reaching out a hand
Helping those in need, and
Doing all she can
What a blessing heaven has
To have her way up there
We were blessed to have her
For the time we did down here
Her memory lives on
In all of our hearts
And it's comforting knowing
We're not really apart
For when the trees dance
When the wind blows
When the sky shines
That's when we'll feel her close

Gratitude In The Workplace

I've mentioned my job on here more than once. I've stated how grateful I am that the opportunity I was offered fell in my lap, and how it pays so well. It's a great low stress job to have while in school. I've mentioned how I'm not passionate about my job at all, but how it's just a stepping stone to starting my career. It's something to fall back on.

The Things That Get Me Through

I don't love my job, but I'm grateful that I don't hate it like I did at my old job. I have a very kind, generous, caring boss. She makes it clear how grateful she is to have me helping her out, especially in the summer when the company is at their busiest. I'm grateful that she saw my potential and gave me the opportunity to climb the ladder at this company. When training me, she was very patient and wouldn't get upset when I made mistakes that were hard to fix. She takes things in stride, and without realizing teaches me how to do the same. I'm grateful that I was offered a year- round position rather than seasonal (which is what I was hired for). 

Another thing I'm thankful for when it comes to my boring job, is the money I'm paid to do it. As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, I was given a $5 raise within two months. I started out at $10 per hour as the front desk receptionist, and was promoted to $15 per hour to work in the finance/accounting department. I like having my own desk, which I can personalize as my own. I can make myself comfortable, and have all the things that sooth me around. I'm grateful to be able to wear what ever I'd like to work. When I was the receptionist, I had to wear the company uniform (khaki's, white sneakers, and a navy blue polo shirt with the company's logo). When I was promoted my boss said that what I wore to work was totally up to me. I don't show up in sweat pants, but I can be comfortable in my own style and don't have to wear that ugly uniform. And being paid $15/hr gives me a little extra spending money to buy new clothes ;)

At the daycare (my old job) I couldn't imagine trying to balance school with the stress I was dealing with on a day to day basis. I felt like I was a mother of 7 infants. The stress would follow me home. I'd feel beat up every day and didn't feel like doing much at all other than getting in my PJ's and laying in bed or on the couch. With the job I have now, although it can be busy sometimes, is far less stressful. I'm grateful for that because I'm able to balance school, work, and a social life. With a low stress job such as mine, I'm healthier and happier than I was before. I'm grateful that I can recognize these things despite the fact that I don't enjoy what I do. Despite the fact that I'm not passionate about what I do. There is always a bright side to everything, and these are mine within my workplace. 

Another thing I'm grateful for is the people I work with. As I mentioned, my boss is a kind woman. We share laughs together, and talk about things that are going on in our lives. Although she is way older than me, we've become friends. That's not something a lot of people can say about their boss, that they're friends, but I can. My co-workers are funny, down to earth, easy to get along with people. We can go out for drinks together after work and on the weekends. They know how to make the work day fun and interesting. There is never a dull moment at Boston Harbor Cruises. 

This Week's Poem: Hip Hop Resume

My passion is wild

To help any child

Thats feelin' down

Or not so great 

I don't hold back or hesitate

I make them laugh

I make them smile

And they forget 'bout the pain

For at least a lil while

I'm a hard worker 

That goes above & beyond

I'll heal those kids

With the wave of a magic wand

Nursin' is my callin'

Children are my joy

Pedi Dept. please 

Consider me to employ.

How I See It

Story 1: My Ideal Future

In my ideal future, if everything goes just as I plan for it to, I will graduate college and begin my career as a Registered Nurse. I will work in a major Boston hospital in the pediatrics department, working 3 nights a week. My current boyfriend, Sean, and I will decide to marry and live in the outskirt towns of Boston. We will have a beautiful home with a large backyard. We will buy a Shiba Inu puppy to join our new family. After a couple years of marriage, we'll start having children. Hopefully, the first will be a little boy, and the second a little girl. Our family will grow and live happily together over the years. Sean will be teaching at the school that our children attend. We will save enough money to own a vacation home in Orlando, FL. where we will take the children on vacation every summer. We will also have plenty of money to travel the world, (just Sean and I) when the children are grown. Sean and I will be blessed with many years of marriage and health, and we will also be blessed with many grandchildren. 

Story 2: A Twist In The Story

Seeing the same future for myself, but with a bit of a twist of unexpected triumph. After graduating college and beginning my career as a nurse, I will win MegaMillions. Sean and I will already be married. I will decide to put the money towards starting my own organization called Mark's House. Together, my mother and I as Registered Nurses will begin this non-profit organization to help the mentally ill strive in ways they are unable to now. We will be open to anyone who is willing to help others, work towards personal and financial goals for themselves, and become a better person for tomorrow. Once Mark's House is up and running successfully, I will start a family with Sean and continue my work for the organization. Hopefully, the ending of this story is the same as the first.

Story 3: My Alternate Universe Future

This story takes place at the time in story number one when I begin my career as a nurse in a major Boston hospital. I will be working 3 nights a week, as I mentioned. Sean and I will be living in a house that we own together, and we will have our first child, who is an infant. Then, a zombie apocalypse occurs. I will be leaving the hospital at 7am after a long night shift. I will be driving through the streets that are filled with chaos and tragedy. When I arrive at home, Sean will be getting himself ready to go to work. He'll have the news on the TV, showing all of the chaos thats breaking out from where I just came from. "Breaking News: People filled with rage attacking anyone and everyone they see/know" says the banner at the bottom of the screen. I'll tell him about everything I saw on my drive home, when the news anchor interrupts and says, "We just received word from the Government to stay indoors if you haven't been infected or attacked. If you have been attacked or think you have been infected, please seek immediate medical attention." Then my cell phone will go off, and it will be the hospital calling me to come back and help out since they will be overwhelmed with patients. Before I rush out the door to go, I'll take a quick shower. When I get out, Sean will tell me how the school he works at has been cancelled for the day. Just as this happens, we will hear a bang at the front door and cries for help. Before opening the door, we will see a neighbor be eaten by her own husband. Then he will try getting into our house to eat us and our baby. We will get out of town before either of us or our child is harmed, and we will survive together for many years. We will stay on the road and keep moving from state to state to stay alive. My skills as a nurse will help us along the way, and Sean's skills as a teacher will bring knowledge to our child as he grows. The government will discover a cure for the outbreak, and will finally make the dead, dead. The world will slowly go back to normal and we will live a happy life together putting the world back together.

This Week's Poem About Grace:

The universe has in store

Something great for me

A wonderful love

And a career yet to be

The path I'm traveling 

On this journey today

Is filled with hope

All along the way

I'm being offered

Freedom and age

I'm a bird

Who'll never be caged

Faith, family

And friends so dear

By my side

For yet another year

Everything going 

Better than expected

To the universe

I've never felt more connected

Exploring My Passions

I have two joys in life that I’m equally passionate about. The first is writing. The second is helping others. When I write, I feel as though my mind is free. I can travel to a different place and time, even while writing about the present. When I help others, it helps me. It makes me feel better about myself

knowing that I was there to
help someone. I think that my mother reinforced a lot of positive attention when my siblings or I would help her, my father, each other, or anyone. And doing so, it made me feel better about myself. Now, when I help someone it makes me feel like I’m needed,  whether it be emotionally, a random act of kindness, kissing my nephews forehead when he bumps it, etc...

If I was told my wish would be granted for the one thing I wanted to do every day for the rest of my life, I would choose to help people through writing. It’s both of my passions woven together. I suppose that I could be a self-help author, but that doesn’t seem to interest me that much. I would want to write novels that inspire people (like The Alchemist). I would want to help people through my writing just as Paulo Coelho has. That would be amazing if I could succeed at something like that. Who says I can’t? Maybe someday I will. But, since my major is nursing, maybe I could write children’s books for kids who are ill. Maybe I could read them to them before they fall asleep at night. I think that would be just as amazing.

I would like to be of service to anyone who needs the help. The key word there is needs, not wants. Sometimes people don’t want help, but don’t realize that they need it. Maybe they would realize it from my writing. Maybe a message I put into it will stick out to them and make them realize the help they need. And I would also like to help children. Children are so kind and innocent from the start, it’s a shame people become bitter as they grow. But with children, you can teach them things more easily than you can teach adults. And when you teach a child something important, it will stay with them forever. There are many important qualities and lessons my mother has taught me to raise me into a good person, that have been and always will be with me forever. Maybe if I start with the children, their generation will pass it on and make this world a better place. 

This Week's Poem About My Passion: 

A Dance With Passion

Helping others 

When they're in need

Into the pages

My words bleed

From random acts

Of kindness

To the paper as

My canvas

Merging into one

What a beautiful thing

It makes me so happy

It makes me sing

When I found it, I felt complete

Like a whole was filled inside me

It opened my eyes and showed me love

Which in the end set me free

I don't know what the future holds

Whats meant to be will be

But I'll love it forever

And ever, and ever, you see?

Turning Lead into Gold

Santiago, a shepherd, has a reoccurring dream of finding buried treasure near the pyramids in Egypt. On one of his travels with his sheep, he comes across the path of a gypsy woman who claims to be psychic. Santiago tells her about this dream of his, and she tells him that he should go to Egypt. The next character that Santiago meets is the "King of Salem" or Melchizedek, who tells him that going to the pyramids is his personal legend. Santiago eventually sells his sheep and heads to Tangier. While in Tangier Santiago works in a store with a crystal merchant, who teaches him about omens. And in turn, Santiago teaches him to take risks with his business. After about a year, Santiago takes the money he has earned from working for the crystal merchant and continues on his journey to the pyramids. He joins a caravan to get to Egypt and meets and Englishman who is studying alchemy. The Englishman tells Santiago a little bit about alchemy and the alchemist that he is looking for. The caravan stops at an oasis, and Santiago meets Fatima, the love of his life. He also meets the alchemist here. The alchemist and Santiago travel through the desert together, and the alchemist teaches him a lot about the Soul of The World. Santiago arrives in Egypt alone, and is robbed and beaten by some thieves when digging for his treasure. When Santiago told them why he thought there was treasure (his dream), one of them men says they had a dream of finding treasure under a sycamore tree near an old church in Spain (Santiago's home). He returns to Spain and finds his buried treasure and plans to return to Fatima to live happily every after.

When Santiago is in the desert with the alchemist, and captured and accused of being spies in the tribal wars, the alchemist explains that Santiago is an alchemist and that he could destroy their tents

with wind. The chiefs don't believe it, until they see it. So Santiago shows them. He is having a conversation with the desert, the wind, the sun, and the hand that wrote all. I thought this part was lovely. Not just the imagery in the writing, but the symbolism behind it. I took this part as Santiago becoming in tune with all the different parts of him; his body, his mind, his heart, and his soul. He became aware of and in touch with every part of himself. Doing so, he realized that he is capable of anything. I believe that if anyone realizes this power within themselves they will be successful in anything they desire to accomplish. I hope that I can fully come in touch with these aspects of myself someday.

There were parts in The Alchemist that I didn't enjoy, but maybe if I read it again I'll understand it more enough to enjoy it? I'll have to try that, after all I've got nothing to lose, only something to gain.

I liked that the book was inspiring in symbolic ways. It reminded me of The Secret, except not as general. The way they The Alchemist told stories within the story made it seem very wise. It got me to think about a lot of things, from which I made my own interpretation about, rather than being told directly. I did not like that Santiago traveled all the way to the pyramids just to discover that his treasure was at home. To me, it seemed like it was a huge waste of time. I think that he could have found his Personal Legend without going on such a long journey. 

I would not recommend this book to a friend that is my age. I feel as though it is more for people who are already aware of who they are, not still learning and growing into the person they'll become. I would, however, recommend this book to my mother, my father, and my brother Stephen. I believe they would enjoy it a lot. I think that my brother Stephen would discover many things about himself from reading it. I think that my mother would become more confident in herself from reading it. And I think my father would realize that he is only living to survive, and maybe it would inspire him to discover his personal legend. 

This Week's Poem about The Alchemist:

The desert is like the body

Confined to one physical place

Changing and growing,

Yet always in the same place

The mind is like the wind

Traveling everywhere

Just like our thoughts,

All up in the air

The heart is like the sun

Thinking it knows all

But when the heart does not have the answer,

Who does it call?

The hand that wrote all, 

Or in other words the soul

Which will always lead you

To your own personal goal

All four forms

Coming together as a whole

Each one, providing their own

Uniquely special role

To open the eyes

And the ears to hear

Beyond the doubt

Beyond the fear...

Less Attitude, More Gratitude

When I wake up on Monday morning, all I want to do is go back to sleep. I don’t want to think about going to work, or school, or dealing with any social encounters. I’m exhausted from the weekend, from seeing friend’s I've been neglecting to running errands, doing homework, and making some time for my family. 

“Five more minutes,” I tell my boyfriend when he tells me to get up. What I mean by five more minutes is that I do not want to go to work today. But, I know that I have to, so I drag myself out from under the covers, hop in the shower and begin my day. 

When I’m leaving my house, I’m dreading sitting in the traffic that’s clogging up the interstate. I wish my car could drive itself while I nap on the way to work.

The things I take for granted

I am lucky and privileged enough to have a great paying job (for someone with no degree). I've been there for six months, and although I don’t hate it, it doesn't satisfy me anymore. I find myself becoming more and more bored of my same old routine every day. Most of the time, I think of my job as an annoying responsibility that I have to commit to. But, I should be more grateful to have the opportunity to be able to make money and have a full time, year round position. 

The other thing I take for granted is my car. It’s a 2007 black Toyota Corolla. It has only had one previous owner, and the miles were really low on it when it came to me. My parents bought it for me as a gift when I graduated from high school. I forget sometimes how fortunate I am to have a nice, reliable car that’s great on gas. I don’t take care of my car as well as I ought to. It’s a filthy mess to be honest. Not with trash, but with clothes all over the back seat, and the nasty cigarette stench that fills it from me smoking in it over the years.

The people I am grateful for

There are little day to day things that I've began to noticing more and more after studying gratitude in this course. Things that I used to take for granted, but am now very grateful of.

I am grateful that my parents bought me a car for graduation. I never expected them to do such a thing. My first car was a 1997 Purple Pontiac Sunfire. I had worked all summer when I was 15, and bought the car all on my own. It was totaled a year later, due to rusting underneath. After that, I would borrow my Mom’s car when I could, and I started saving for another car that I had my eye on. I went away with some friends after graduation, and when I came home, my Toyota Corolla was waiting in the driveway for me. I couldn't believe they had bought it for me! I couldn't be more thankful to have parents like them.

I’m unable to park at my job. When I started, I would take a water shuttle that goes directly to my office. I was able to take it for free, because the company I work for ran it. But then my boyfriend started offering to drive me over every morning (its five minutes from his place). He then drops me off, goes to the Dunkin Donuts right down the street, and texts me to come outside because he got me a coffee. I’m so grateful to have such a caring, generous boyfriend. He’s always doing little things like this for me without me even asking him to.

Taking in the good

Instead of feeling stressed out between work and school, I could “take in” the fact that I’m able to commit to both. Not everyone is able to have a job, and not everyone is able to further their education. But I am doing both, and although it can sometimes be overwhelming, I should learn to appreciate the good in both of them (the money, experience, and the knowledge). At first it will have to be a conscious effort for me to take in the good, but soon I will be able to do so without even realizing.

5 Haikus of Gratitude

The land of the free

Home of the brave, U-S-A

Its where I reside

The money I make

The experience I have

They keep me alive

My family and friends

Always there when I'm in need

So glad they love me

The knowledge I gain

From attending the classes

I take in college

Every day I wake

To a sun rising up high

I am so grateful

Obstacles To Overcome My Fears

I suppose that my fear of failing school and the fear of the unknown could go hand-in-hand. I think that I would be unhappy if I ended up being stuck at my current job, living pay check to pay check because I failed school. And although I know how it would make me feel, I do not know what my life would be like. I just can't picture it. I suppose it would be like it is now, but with no potential of getting better. It is unknown to what my day to day would be like if I were to fail out of school.

Yes, one could argue that it is unknown what my life would be like even if I am successful in school and start my career as a nurse. But I know that it will be satisfying and that I will have the opportunities to do more than I am doing now. Being the

empathetic person that I am, I believe that I will make a good nurse. I think that helping other people will help me feel good about myself and make me feel as though I am making a difference in the world. I'm as compassionate for helping other people as I am loyal to other people. I'm a very loyal girlfriend, daughter, sister, and employee. I believe that once I finish school I'll go far in life because of these assets I possess.

I'm trying to be a healthier person both mentally and physically since I'm on my journey to becoming a nurse. I have recently joined the gym, and have been going three days a week. It's not that I didn't exercise before, but I didn't make it a priority. Paying money for a gym memberships motivates me to go and exercise so that I get my moneys worth. This helps me both mentally and physically. To help me stay mentally/emotionally healthy, I journal. Whether it be poetry, made up stories, or just my thoughts from the day, I always write it down. Just as I'm doing now. I find that letting my feelings out through journaling helps me be a less stressed, and a more happy person.

Fear of Battle

Hey, ya'll might think I'm crazy

For the fear that I carry

And if I fail school

Ya'll might think I'm lazy

Now don't call me a baby

For bein' ascared of the dark

In the unseen waters

Could be lurkin' a hungry shark

Thats ready to take a bite

Right out the side of me

But you see,

No, you don't see,

Cause theres nothin' but black

And in the unknown world

It's courage I lack

But the cowardly lion

Gained some guts

And if he can be fearless, maybe

I should grow some nuts